Weston's and Addams'
by Blood Diamond13
Summary: This is a crossover between Empty Nest and The Addams Family. The Addams' car breaks down in front of the Weston's home.
1. Catching the Hurricane

Harry sat on his couch, unable to sleep. Laverne had been calling him non-stop ever since her neice got pregnant yet again. He waited for the phone to ring, but instead, Carol came downstairs. "Daddy, Scotty's been kepping me up all night. Maybe he wants to see his Grandpa."

"Carol, -"

"Is that bad?" Carol asked.

"That he wants to see me? No, why would that be bad?" Harry questioned.

"Because I read that a mother has a special emotional bond where only she can comfort the child when in serious distress. Daddy, do you think something's wrong with me?" Carol gripped his shoulders.

"Yes." Harry said.

"What is it?"

"You're taking this whole thing too seriously. It's ridiculous. Scotty's just having a rough night, he'll be fine!" Harry shrugged it off.

"You're right..." She paused and Harry assumed the discussion was over. "But what if he isn't?"

"Ugh, Carol, really, I-" Just then, Barbra came down to join them.

"Hey, I just put Scotty down for bed." She said.

"How could you do this to me?" Carol seemed very offended. "Daddy, she put him to bed. He let her put him to bed, do you know what this means?"

"That you owe your sister a thank you?" A confused Harry asked.

"It means he likes Barbra more than me. Just like you do." Carol sat on the couch and crossed her arms.

"Who told you that?" Harry asked and hugged her.

"Barbra!" Harry was not at all suprised, his younger daughter was constantly tormenting Carol.

Just then, the doorbell rang. Harry sighed, assuming it was Laverne. "Coming!" He walked up to his door and answered it. And he had to do a double-take. On his doorstep, was a woman who had to be five foot nine, a bit taller in heels and a man probably six foot two. The woman looked to be in her thirties and had brown eyes and black raven hair that flowed down har back and stopped at a couple inches above her waist. She was wearing a long, tight black dress that extended down past her ankles and wans long sleeved while beeing low cut in a v-neck. She held a black, vintage umbrella and it was puring rain. And she had the palest skin he had ever seen. The man had olive skin, black hair and a mustache that was more of two sexy black lines. He wore a navy blue pinstipped suit. He had a black umbrella as well, only it wasn't vintage. Harry stood there.

"Could we come in, you see, our car broke down and-" The woman was cut off by Harry shutting the door.

"Who was it, Daddy?" Carol asked.

"These two, odd looking people who... who I just left out in the rain, oh my God!" Harry realized his mistake adm rushed to the door. "I am so sorry, " he told the pair. "You just caught me off guard. Please come in."

"Thank you." The man said.

"Children!" The woman called. Just then, a girl who looked to be twelve who was nearly but not quite as pale as her mother, she wore a black knee length, long sleeved dress and it had white cuffs and a collar. She had long braids and her hair were nearly as dark as her mother's walked into the house, trailing behind her parents. Behind her was a pudgy boy who looked to be ten and wore a black and white stripped shirt and black pants. He had brown hair.

"Oh my God." Carol's jaw dropped when they walked in. "Oh my God."

"He's here?" The boy asked.

"No, Pugsley." The girl was very auto-tone. "He wouldn't visit now."

"Oh my God, it's the Addams family." Carol was shocked.

"Carol!" Barbra scolded and hit her in the stomach.

"I'm sorry, would you like some orderve, Invitès d' honneur?" Carol asked.

"Non, mais je vous remercie de l' offre." The woman spoke in perfect French.

"Oh, Tish." The man kissed her hand.

"So, who are you?" Harry asked.

"I'm Gomez Addams, and this lovely creature you feast your eyes upon is my wife, Morticia." Gomez told him.

"Gomez." Morticia smiled. "Oh, and this, " she gestured to the girl. "is our daughter, Wednesday."

"And I'm Pugsley." The boy said.

"Daddy! I was right! I knew it, I knew it, I-" Barbra hit her sister harder in the stomach.

"Will you knock it off?" Barbra half yelled, half whispered. "This does not make them the Addams family."

"My husband and I were taking a trip to see if we could catch the hurrican heading this way, but our children snuck into our luggage." Morticia explained.

"Kids." Gomez sighed.

"So, what made you come here?" Barbra asked.

"We happened to be driving down your street and our car broke down." Morticia said.

"You guys are pulling our chain, right?" Barbra asked. "The movie just came out a couple of years ago."

"Yes, we knew the actors very well. They pulled it off splendidly." They looked just like the movie. Except, Wednesday's eyes were a bit of a darker brown and she had black nail polish, not red.

"So, you're serious right now?" Harry asked.

"Quite." Morticia responded.

"We were hoping we could stay here until our car gets fixed." Puglsey said.

"Well, only if it's alright with you, Dr. Weston." Morticia added.

"Please, call me Harry- DR. WESTON?" Harry was shocked and tried to mantain his composure. "How do you know my name?"

"Oh, in college I majored in witchcraft- provate tutors, of course- and I picked a few tricks up." Morticia told him.

"You **are** so intelligent." Gomez kissed her red wine lips.

"Darling, don't you think we should talk to Dr. Weston-" she looked at Harry. "Harry?" She corrected herself.

"Who?" Gomez asked, completely entranced.

"The man who owns this house." Morticia reminded him.

"Ah, yes!" Gomez snapped out of it.

"Look, we might not have enough room-" Harry began to say.

"But, Daddy, we have two guestrooms." Barbra reminded her father.

"Thank you, Barbra. I promise you, I **won't forget this**." Harry said to her.

"Well, that's wonderful, old man!" Gomez exclaimed.

"What do we say to Harry?" Morticia asked her children.

"Be afraid. Be very afraid." Wednesday said.

"I will." Harry told her.

After a while, Harry brought in their luggage and brought it up to the guestrooms. Morticia and Gomez stayed in the room right next to Carol, they shared a wall. Wednesday and Pugsley stayed in the attic, they explained that they felt more comfortable there. Gomez and Morticia were walking into their room for the time being. "Oh, darling..." Morticia's voice trialed off.

"It's so..." Gomez had had his arm around her and was at a loss for words.

"White." Morticia stated.

Meanwhile, Wednesday and Pugsley were in their nightclothes in their room. "Pugsley, do you think Harry would mind if we started a fire?" Wednesday asked.

"Maybe we should get to know him first." Pugsley said.

"Why? I set fire to you when you were brought home from the hospital." Wednesday said.

"But, it needs a repaint. It's so..."

"Yellow. And floral, and... Pugsley, turn off the lights." Wednesday ordered.

Morticia and Gomez were situated on the living room couch for they both couldn't sleep. And Morticia turned to her husband. "Darling, do you think we'll be lucky enough to catch the hurricane this week?" She asked.

"Of course, my darling." Gomez reassured her. "I am so proud of the children for sneaking out, though."

"As am I." Morticia sighed.

"Tish, is something wrong?" Gomez asked.

"I just wish we had more alone time. But that, I suppose is being selfish." Morticia said.

"Cara mia, I have been craving alone time since we arrived in Miami. The torture gnawing at my insides like a revenous beast." Gomez told her.

"Well, then, why don't we fix that?" Morticia asked seductivly.

"With pleasure." Gomez replied as he began to kiss her rather passionatley. And they both wished it could turn into something more.

Meanwhile, Harry sat up in his bed next to Dreyfus. He usually poured his heart out to that dog. "I wish Carol wouldn't be so judgemental. Just because they're the Addams family doesn't mean they're nearly as crazy." At this, Dreyfus shot his owner a look as if to say sarcastically, _"Really, Harry? **Really?** " _

"Alright, Dreyf. But they didn't have anywhere else to go. Now, in the morning, we'll sort this whole thing out. Please, try to get some sleep." Harry sighed.

Dreyfus then lept off of the bed and walked out of the room.


	2. Get Out of Town

Harry was ready to leave for work when Carol walked into the kitchen. "Daddy, I'm so glad you're still here. I have to talk to you."

Harry sighed and sat down at the table with her. "What is it, dear?"

"I can't stand those people in our house!" She exclaimed. "I was up nearly all of last night."

"Scotty again?" Harry asked, unaure of what this had to do with their guests.

"No. I was sitting in my bed and was about to fall into a slumber. When all of the sudden, bang! Bang, bang!" Carol soon became very animated. "Against the wall all night."

"And how do you know it was them?"

"Because the first time I went to see if everything was alright. And I looked throught the small peephole in their room and Daddy, I didn't like what I saw." Carol said.

Harry soon got a rather disturbed look on his face. "I... I see, dear."

"It finally stopped at four in the morning."

Morticia soon came downstairs in her black, silk nightgown. "Thank you so much for letting us stay for the night."

Harry, still having not recovered from Carol's story, attempted to mantain his composure. "Oh, it was no trouble at all."

"You're too kind." Morticia paused. "How was your night, Carol?"

"Awful." Carol put her head in her hands. It was one thing, watching a movie. It was another, when they showed up at their house.

"Splendid." Morticia took this as a posotive statement.

"What?" Carol half-whispered as she slowly brought her head up.

Gomez soon came into the kitchen through the back door in his outfit of the day. He looked very... sawshbuckling with a dark twist.

"Oh, mon cher. I was looking for you." Morticia told him.

"Good morning, my dearest." He kissed her hand. "Oh, Tish, I have news about the car."

"Is it fixed?" Carol asked excitedly."No." Gomez said. "I looked at it and it turns out, there's a bullet hole in our tire."

"A bullet hole?" Harry asked.

"Indeed." Gomez replied.

"A bullet hole." Harry laughed nervously. "A bullet hole- Barbra!" Harry yelled.

Barbra then ran downstairs. "Yea, Daddy?"

"Barbra, there is a bullet hole in their tire." Harry said. "Any explaination?"

"How do you know it was me?" Barbra asked defensively.

"Let's see who in this house owns a gun. The caterer, the doctor or **the police officer**?" Harry asked, upset.

"Okay, but I can explain. See, I had just gotten home from a car chase and then I saw their car. In the dark, it looked a lot like the one we were chasing, so I shot the tire and walked inside. I got ready for bed and I figured we'd take them down to the station but when I came down, I found you and we started talking and then they showed up at our door."

"I see." Morticia said and eyed Barbra up and down.

"But, I mean it all worked out for the best, at least you weren't arrested." Barbra told them.

"Barbra!" Harry was exasperated. "Appologize to these people right now."

"Sorry I shot your car." Barbra sighed.

"You know, Barbra?" Morticia began. "You have respectable aim."

"Really?" Barbra asked.

"Yes, you're our kind of people!" Gomez laughed.

"Would anyone like tea?" Morticia asked.

"That's very nice of you, but I have to go to work." Harry walked out the door, leaving it open.

"Drive recklessly, Harry!" Morticia called after him. "Carol?"

"Yes, thank you." Carol said.

"Alright." Morticia began making the tea in the back of their kitchen. "Cream, sugar, or cyanide?" She asked.

Harry arrived at the office and was greeted by Laverne, as usual. "You're late." Laverne said to him.

"I know, Laverne. I had a very busy morning with the Addams Family." Harry explained.

"No, I mean later than usual- **the Addams Family**?" Laverne was concerned Harry had lost his marbles. "Doctor, have you just lost your mind?"

"No, Laverne. Last night, Barbra shot a hole in their car and they knocked on our door asking for shelter. They knew the actors and it was all very confusing but-"

"But nothin', doctor, these people are just pullin' your leg." Laverne told him.

"Laverne, would people pulling a prank have gone as far as to have a car exactly like theirs, keep poison in their pockets to put in their tea, bring torture devices into a guestroom or make love in the room that shared a wall with Carol's?" Harry asked, fed up.

"They did all that?" Laverne asked.

"Yes. But, I do feel bad that Barbra shot their car. Well, I will tell you one thing, it's coming out of **her** paycheck." Harry said.

"Barbra **shot** their car?"

"Yea, now they can't go anywhere. And I'm not making them pay for a hotel. So their staying with me until their car gets fixed." Harry explained.

"Can't they just get a new tire?" Laverne asked.

"No, it has to match the rest of their car, it can't look awkward."

"This is the Addams Family we're talking about, doctor, not the Brady Bunch!" Laverne exclaimed.

"Laverne! The point is, that their tire is going to take a week to get."

"Look, doctor." Laverne decided to get her head on straight. "These people still might be pullin' your leg, I mean-"

Just then, Wednesday and Pugsley walked into the office.

"Oh, Lordie." Laverne was speechless.

"Hello, Harry." Wednesday spoke in monotone, as usual.

"Hi, kids. Everything alright?" Harry asked.

"Can we have some of your tools?" Pugsley questioned the doctor.

"Why?" Harry begun to grow, slightly worried.

"We're bored." He answered.

"Yes, we were hoping to use your basement as a playroom. It's very damp, and dark. A perfect place to hide someone." Wednesday eyed her brother.

"Kids, I need my tools right now. Don't you have any toys, like a doll or a baseball?" Harry asked, hoping to bring a sense of normality into the conversation.

"Doctor, we're not sick." Wednesday said. "But if you have a bat, I could use it for... other purposes." The girl rarely took her eyes off of Pugsley.

"Kids, you run along and go home now." Laverne told them.

"Fine, but can we at least use your crawlspace in the basement?" Wednesday asked.

"Would your parents really want you doing that?" Harry figured he knew the answer, but in case he didn't, asked anyway.

"They were the ones who sent us here." said Pugsley.

"Okay, kids, have fun!" Laverne said abrubtly. "If you yougnin's ain't sick, go home and play." And the two children walked out.

"Doctor, get out of town." Laverne said, expressionless, yet in a whisper

"Don't be ridiculous." Harry said.

"I'm serious, doctor! These people are crazy, they could kill you just by lookin' at ya."

"Laverne, that's insane. They've looked at me plenty of times and they haven't killed me yet."

"Yet, Dr. Weston, **yet**."

It was late and Barbra had arrived home from work. She went to the basement to do her laundry. As she walked down the flight of stairs, she heard laughter... maniacal, laughter. She walked in to find Pugsley in an electric chair with Wednesday connecting cords to it.

"Wednesday, what are you doing? Why is it taking so long?" asked Pugsley.

"We've been over this one hundred times." Wednesday said. "I'm warming it up."

"But **why**?" Pugsley persisted.

"So it can kill you." Wednesday replied.

"D-Daddy!" Barbra shreiked.

"Barbra?" Harry called as he ran to see what was the matter. "Barbra, what's wrong-" He then saw Pugsley getting electrocuted. "Oh my God, Carol! Someone," He screamed again.

Just then, Gomez and Morticia came down. "We heard screaming." Morticia said. "We were hoping something was wrong."

"Something is wrong, something is **very** wrong." Harry told her.

"What is it?" Gomez questioned. "Everything seems in order."

"Pugsley, you're supposed to struggle, dear!" Morticia called gently. She then turned to Harry. "Thank you, Harry. Thank you for being so helpful." And then the couple walked up the stairs, with Harry and Barbra in toe.


	3. So Much For That

Carol lied awake in bed, praying to God in Heaven that she would get a good-night's sleep. And it seemed as though she would... until Harry burst in. "Carol, whats going on in our house is crazy. I thought you, of all people, might understand."

"Thank you, Daddy." Carol smiled, not even hinting that his words were a tad insulting.

"Carol, I was talking to Laverne today. And she said to get out of town. I know, crazy but-"

"Perfect, Daddy. I'll help you pack." Carol said abrubtly and was about to hop out of her bed.

Just then, Harry gently grabbed her arm and pulled her back. "No, sweetheart. We aren't going to get out of town. It's just, it's all too much for me."

"I know. But at least they only electrocute eachother."

Wednesday then walked in. "I'm sorry to disturb you." She said, expressionless and emotionless. "But Pugsley's not falling asleep. So is Barbra awake?"

"Why?" Harry asked.

"Because, poisioning Pugsley isn't fun if he's awake. Neither is electrocuting him. And he always survives." Wednesday sighed.

"Yes." Harry and Carol said in unison.

"Well, goodnight, Wednesday." Carol said.

"Are you sure Barbra's awake?" Wednesday eyed them suspiciously.

"Yes." Harry and Carol replied.

"Alright." And Wednesday walked out.

"Now that I think about it, getting out of town isn't a bad idea." Harry confessed.

"Good." Carol lept out of bed.

"Wait." Harry said, after breifly thinking it over. "Look, it's ridiculous to leave our own home over this. It's just the Addams family."

"Daddy, that's like saying 'it's ridiculous to flee Japan, it's only Godzilla.'" Carol said.

"Look, we can just tell them that they have to leave because it's just not working out."

"Agreed."

So, the next day came and before it was time for Harry to leave for work, he found Gomez and Morticia, sitting on the couch. "Hi, do you mind if we have a talk?" Harry asked.

"Not at all, go right ahead, old man!" Gomez replied.

"Good. So, I-" Harry was cut off by Morticia, putting a hand to her stomach and slightly wincing in pain.

Gomez held her hand and put his arm around her.

"Hey, are you okay?" Harry asked.

"Oh, yes, Harry. Thank you. It was just a slight contraction." Morticia told him, the pain seemed to have subsided.

"Oh, that's fine, then- **contraction**?" Harry was flabberghasted.

"Yes, she's been having quite a rough pregnancy." Gomez sighed and kissed his wife's hand.

"Pregnancy? She's pregnant?" Harry was sweating.

"Quite." Morticia said.

"How, how far along are you?"

"Oh, about eight months." Morticia told him.

"Eight months?" Harry eyed her stomach. She barely even looked pregnant. She had a perfect figure. Her stomach looked like it had a slight bump and nothing more. "Excuse me but you don't look... pregnant." Harry gulped.

"Why thank you, Harry." Morticia smiled. "Yes, I was a bit larger with Pugsley."

"Uh-huh. Why didn't you say anything?" Harry asked.

"We didn't want you to feel compelled to make us feel comfortable, we didn't want to disturb you too much." Gomez said.

"Well, I feel compelled now." Harry told them. "Morticia? Can I get you anything, like a pillow or tea or coffe?" Harry asked her.

"Oh, no thank you, Harry. I'm quite-" Another contraction had hit her. "Alright."

"Tish, maybe you should let him get you a pillow." Gomez urged.

"Alright, darling." Morticia nodded and rested her head on his shoulder.

Harry then got her a pillow and Gomez situated it behind her back.

"Harry, I appreciate this but you really should be getting to work." Morticia told him.

"Are you sure you don't need anything?" Harry asked.

"I assure you, if my wife needs anything, I'll be right here." Gomez said.

"Alright. Well, help yourself to anything you want. My house is your house." Harry said abrubtly and rished put the door. When the door did finally close, he banged his head against the side of his house. "Ugh!" He yelled, frustrated at life. He then drove to work and Laverne greeted him.

"Doctor, you're-"

"Late, Laverne. I know." Harry asighed and hung up his coat.

"And what if I was gonna say, 'doctor, you're early'?" Laverne asked.

"Laverne, I see the clock on the wall. I'm five minutes late."

"Who put a wrench in your underwear?" Laverne noticed his attitude.

"I'm sorry, Laverne. We were planning to tell them that it wasn't working out but we can't now because Morticia's pregnant." Harry put his head in his hands.

"You mean to tell me that she got pregnant at your house?"

"No, Laverne. She's eight months along." Harry said.

Maxine entered. "Who? Barbra?" She aksed.

"No, Morticia." Harry replied, forgetting he never told her about his guests.

"Morticia? You mean that lady from that show about the creepy white people?" Mazine asked, laughing slightly at herself.

"That's the one." Laverne chimed in.

"How do you know?" Maxine asked Harry. "Are you personal friends?"

"Well, she, her husband and her children are al, staying at my house." Harry said.

Maxine laughed histarically. "Doctor, you better lay off the pain pills, they're startin' to make you crazy."

"No, it's true." Laverne told her.

"You mean you actually believe him?" Maxine asked her.

"Yes. Back in Hickory, there was this boy." As Laverne spoke Maxine and Harry sighed. But Laverne ignored them. "And he would always tell the most outrageous stories about his brothers and sisters. And he lied and said they was turtles. So one day, we all got together-"

"We?" Harry asked, afraid of the answer.

"Ya know, me and all the kids at school. Well, anyways, we all got together and went over to his farm. And we told his parents about his crazy stories and do you know what they showed us?"

"Turtles?" Maxine asked.

"Turtles."

Maxine rolled her eyes. "I did not see that coming." She said sarcastically. She sighed. "What's your point?"

"My point is, that's what made me realize you don't have to see somethin' to believe it." Laverne told her.

"Sure." At this, Maxine called a patient and led them down the hall. Meanwhile, Harry felt as though he nedded his own doctor.

Carol stood by the table, drinking her tea and walked into the living room to find, reading on the couch next to her husband. "Morticia, hi. Can I get you anything?" She asked her.

"Don't worry, Carol. I just had some spider-legs tea. I should be alright." Morticia said. As she said this, Carol pulled a long, fuzzy leg out of her cup. She gagged and put it down.

"Spider-legs?" She got a disturbed look on her face. "Alright, well, if you need anything, let myself or my sister know." She quickly walked back into the kitchen and began to make herself a fresh cup of herbal tea. "Wait, " she said to herself. "If she's pregnant, then what was all of that banging?" After contemplating this, she went back to making her tea amd Charlie walked in at the same time Barbra did.

"Last night was okay. But the night before was amazing." Charlie said, not waiting for a _"How are you?"_ to respond to. He shook his head happily. "I took her straight home."

Carol's head popped up. "Who's home?" She asked.

Charlie sighed and knew he was caught. "My house was being fumigated!" He whined.

"Charlie!" Carol was disgusted.

"You took her here?" Barbra asked.

"Can't you keep your hands off women for one night?" Carol asked.

"What fun would that be?" Asked Charlie. He shook his head. "Barbra, can you toss me a beer?" He asked her.

Barba did this and it hit Charlie right in the head, knocking him onto the floor. "Charlie!" Barbra yelled. He got up after a few minutes and wobbled over to the kitchen table and sat down.

"Charlie?" Carol asked.

"Yes, Carol?" Charlie was slowly recovering.

"Why didn't you asked me to toss you the beer?"

"Carol!" Barbra yelled.

Charlie looked out of the door that was held open by a door-stopper and his eyes squinted. "Am I dead? Am I in Hell?" He asked.

"Why?" Barbra asked him.

"Because, " Harry soon walked into the living room, followed by Carol and Barbra. "I see a really sexy ghost." He eyed Morticia. Gomez was upstairs, checking on the children.

Morticia looked up from her book and set it down. "May I help you?" She asked, politely.

"Yes, you may." He sat on the couch next to her. "Hi, I'm Charlie." He shook her hand.

"I'm Morticia." Morticia replied. "How do you know the Weston's?" She asked.

"I'm their neighbor." Charlie explained.

"I see." Morticia said.

"So, what are you in for?" Charlie asked.

"I was planninng to catch a hurricaine." Morticia figured he meant to ask her why she was in Miami.

"I'm gonna score in heell." Charlie sang to himself in a whisper.

"Charlie, you are not in hell!" Carol yelled at him.

"Then how do you explain the ghost?" Charlie gestured to Morticia.

"Why, thank you. But I'm not a ghost yet." Morticia informed him.

"Oh, is that something you have to work towards? Is it like the hell version of earning your wings?" Charlie asked.

Gomez soon walked downstairs and stood next to Morticia. "Hello. I don't believe we'be met." He shook Charlie's hand. "I'm Gomez Addams, and have you met my lovely wife?" He asked.

"Oh, she's your wife? Then yes, I've met her." Charlie said, not at all looking defeated.

"Wonderful. And has she told you the wonderful news?" Gomez asked, slightly jealous.

"No." Charlie responded.

"She's pregnant." Gomez said.

Charlie got up. "Oh, congratulations." He said. "Um, if you'll excuse me." Before he walked out, he passed by Carol and Barbra. "Pregnant, this really is hell."


	4. Duck Boxers

"Ahh!" The scream ricochet off the wall and echoed through the house. Harry and Barbra ran upstairs to find out what was wrong and they found Carol in an electric chair. Her hair was sticking up andwas very frizzy. "Carol! What happened to you?" Harry asked.

"Yea, you look awful." Barbra laughed, seeing as her sister was alright from the looks of it.

"Barbra!" Harry yelled.

"Hello, **Daddy**." Carol was trembling. "Wednesday and Pugsley asked me to play a game with them. And, being the generous person I am, told them I would. I thought they were just deprived of normal, social activities. So, they told me to come into my bedroom and then they put me in this chair. And Wednesday pressed this button and the chair got warm. I asked her, 'Child, what are you doing?' And she told me it was warming up. And I asked why and she said, 'so it can kill you'." Carol was still shaky.

"Carol, sweetie, let's get you down." Harry unstrapped her from the chair.

"Hey, Carol!" Pugsley called and came into the bedroom. "Do you want to play russian roulette with us?"

"Can't you get Wednesday to do it? I thought it was a two-person game?" Carol asked, scared.

"Not the way we play it." Pugsley said.

"Hey, you know who's good with guns? My sister, Barbra. She's a cop." Carol smiled.

"Carol,-" Barbra warned.

"A cop who loves danger! She works undercover." Carol kept going.

"Great, come on, Barbra!" Pugsley then took her arm and pulled her out of the room, following Wednesday.

 **"Carol!"** Barbra screamed. The doorbell rang and Morticia answered it, she knew she should have been resting but it was torture just sitting and doing nothing unless her husband was there. "Hello?" She answered. And at that moment, Maxine's jaw dropped to the floor. But Laverne just stood there, smiling and confident.

"See, Dr. Douglas. I told you." She said.

Maxine just kept staring.

"Please come in." Morticia stepped out of the way for them to enter. They sat on the couch and Morticia sat in the chair. "Would either of you ladies care for a cup of henbane tea? It takes magnificent with cyanide."

"No thanks, I'll pass." Laverne said.

Morticia turned to Maxine. "No thanks." Maxine said.

Morticia nodded. "So, Dr. Douglas? How is working with Harry?"

"Well, -" Maxine was cut off by a shocked Laverne.

"Dr. Douglas, she knows your name! How do you know her name?" Laverne asked Morticia.

"Oh, just an old trick I picked up years ago." Morticia responded.

"I see." Maxine said.

"Hi, I'm Laverne." Laverne waved. "I can tell you about working with Dr. Weston. Well, first of all, he's always late. And he don't like his cofee cold but if he's late, it ain't my fault. And I have to make all the decisions. The wall paper, what type of coffe, what restaurant he wants to eat at. But I can say, he is a damn good doctor."

"Has he ever lost a patient?" Morticia asked.

"No." Laverne said.

"What a pitty." Morticia shook her head while Laverne exchanged a look with Maxine. "Tell me about yoursleves." She said.

"Well, " Laverne began. "I was born in Hickory and we was a very large family. I could just go on and on and on about the stories I have from home. For example, there was this hog named Drouser. And every mornin'-"

 **"Laverne."** Dr. Douglas warned. "She doesn't need to know."

"All I was gonna say is that everyone thought he was a sweet lil' pig until he ate somebody." Laverne said. "And the moral of the story was that looks can be decievin'."

"My, what a fascinating story." Morticia sounded very intrigued.

"Thank you. I'm also very pushy and I like to take control. And I had the sweetest little cat that ya ever did see." Laverne told her.

"General Lee?" Maxine asked. She then did an impression of the squinted eyed cat who looked very terrifying.

"Now, don't be disrespectful. Anyway, I have his kitten now. Looks just like him too." Laverne laughed.

"Well, you know my name. I'm a doctor." Maxine said.

"Ain't you gonna tell her anything else?" Laverne asked.

"No." Maxine shrugged.

"Well, " Morticia started. "I assume your here to see Harry?"

"Yes." Laverne paused. "Is it true that Barbra shot your car?"

Maxine rolled her eyes.

"Yes, " Morticia said. "However, she does have good aim."

"Where's your husband?" Maxine asked.

"Oh, he's with the children. They're playing Chinese Water Torture." Morticia explained. "They should be done in a few minutes."

"How do you determine who wins?" Laverne questioned.

"Well, they've devised this plan. The plan is, that they make up a password. And the one being tortured has to resist telling them the password for as long as they can. They time eachother and whomever resists the longest wins."

"Oh my Lord." Laverne was in shock.

Meanwhile, was in Harry's smalk home office, sitting at his desk, swords in hand. Harry soon walked in. He turned on the light and found Gomez, standing on his desk. "Ahh!" Harry screamed. "Gomez, what-"

Gomez tossed him the sword. "You seemed as though you needed a break from your troubles. Do you sword fight, Harry?"

"Not really!" Harry was very scared and dropped everything he was holding except the sword. Gomez lept down from the desk and began to sword fight with Harry. Harry was just trying to stop himsself from geetting killed but had no idea what he was doing.

"Not bad, old man!" Gomez laughed.

"Thanks, you know-" Harry was cut off, his jacket was ripped everywhere. It happened in merely two seconds. He looked at Gomez.

"Never let your gaurd down." Gomez told him. This went on for a few minutes when finally, Mortiicia walked in and stood at the doorway with Lavene and Maxine.

"Doctor!" Laverne was now in complete disbelief.

"Oh my God, Harry." Maxine eyed the fight.

"Gomez, darling!" Morticia called calmly as this was perfectly normal to her. Gomez was always swordfighting, and sometimes she'd do it with him. It was a great passtime. "These two ladies are here to see Harry."

Gomez nodded and Morticia eyed him seductivly. This was when Gomez used his sword to grab Harry's and had both swords around Harry's neck. His life in the hands of a stranger.

 **"Doctor!"** Laverne shouted.

"Had enough?" Gomez asked.

"Yes!" Harry yelled. Gomez quickly lifted the swords up and through them to the ground, they landed on their tips, stuck in the floor.

"Oh, my, God." Laverne looked at Gomez. She thought he was crazy but she also thought he was sexy. "Woof." She accidentally spoke aloud.

"Well, Harry. I'll leave you alone with these two." He walked over to Morticia. "How are you feeling, carita?"

"Oh, fine, mon cher." Morticia replied as he kissed her hand. He got a bit carried away and began to kiss her up her arm and Laverne just stared. For a whole minute even after they were done kissing. After they walked out, Harry sat at the desk in front of Maxine and Laverne.

"Believe me now?" Harry asked.

"Yes." Maxine admitted.

"That man is wonderful." Laverne looked almost as if she were drooling.

"Well, thank you, Laverne, I-" Harry was cut off.

"Doctor, I am not talkin' about you. I am talkin' about that hunk who kicked your ass in that fight." Laverne said and stared at the door.

Harry sighed. "So, you wanted to see me?"

"Not anymore." A still lovesick Laverne said.

"Laverne!" Harry yelled.

"What?" Laverne turned back to Harry.

"Nevermind." Harry seemed very disoriented.

"Doctor, if you don't want these people in your house, they can stay with me." Laverne said eagerly.

"No, they're only going to be here for another four days." Harry responded.

"Oh." Laverne sighed and continued staring at the door.

"Will you stop drooling?" Maxine began to grow annoyed. "You look like a damn fool!"

"Your just mad because you got proven wrong!" Laverne yelled.

Harry had had enough. "You wanted to see me?" Harry repeated for the second time.

"No, we wanted to see of what you were tellin' us was true." Laverne told him.

"Laverne, I thought you believed me!" Harry threw his hands up.

"Well, I did but she didn't!" Laverne gestured towards Maxine.

"Are you saying that you two drove all the way out here to make sure I wasn't crazy?" Harry asked.

"Yes, doctor. And I think that's darn nice of us." Laverne told him.

"So, you didn't want to see me at all?" Harry asked,

"Not really." Maxine responded. She and Laverne then stared at Harry when he stood up.

"But we're seein' much more of ya than we needed to!" Laverne and Maxine laughed histarically. Harry looked down and came to the realization that his pants were slashed and had fallen down.

Just then, Drefyfus walked in and saw Harry. "Hey, Dreyf." Harry was ready to crawl into a hole and die. At this, Dreyfus backed out and ran down the hall, probabaly scarred until his next nap.

"Really, Harry?" Maxine asked. "Duck boxers?"

"Get out!" Harry yelled, embarassed.

Laverne and Maxine got up and walked to the doorway. But they were blocked by Wednesday and Pugsley, standing in the doorway. Wednesday was holding an apple and a crossbow. "Harry, catch!" She tossed the apple to a nervous Harry. "You know, " Wednesday said to Laverne. "In the movies, the pretty blonde is always the first to die." She then aimed the crossbow right at Laverne's head.

"Dr. Douglas, do somethin'!" Laverne screamed.

"Okay." Maxine said. "One, two, three, shoot."

And Wednesday shot the crossbow, missing Laverne's head by a hair but peircong the apple. She looked back at Laverne. "Life's not a movie. It's a gift that people let you keep for about ninety years."

Laverne, now shaking ran out followed by a walking Maxine. Laverne ran out he door but before she did, she noticed Gomez and Morticia sitting next to eachother on the couch. "You're wonderful!" She called to Gomez and was pushed out by Maxine.


	5. Up On The Rooftop

Harry was extremely embarrased coming into work, but decided to ignore what had happened the previous night, swallow his pride and walk into the clinic.

"Doctor, you're early." A shocked Laverne greeted him.

"I know. I didn't know what was worse, staying in that house or coming to work." Harry confessed.

"What's wrong? Are ya mad 'cause you flashed us yesterday?" Laverne asked.

"Yes, Laverne." Harry said.

"Think nothin' of it. These things happened all the time in Hickory." Laverne assured him. "Oh, and by the way, " she handed him a file. "Clara Harvey has been havin' stomach cramps. She threw up this mornin'."

"Oh, how is she?" Harry asked.

"High fever and her parents said you're the only one they trust to take a look at her."

"Alright." Harry took the file and walked down the hallway.

Meanwhile, Wednesday and her brother had decided to play a game on Harry's roof. Wednesday had tricked Pugsley into jumping off by telling him that below him would be hot coals. He liked this idea but sadly, all there was, was the ground. So, he jumped just as Charlie was strolling by to walk into the Weston's home. And Pugsley fell right on top of him.

"Ahh!" Charlie screamed. Barbra then walked outside, ready to leave for work when she saw him.

"Charlie, what-" Barbra paused. "Pugsley?"

"Wednesday!" Pugsley called from bellw and hopped off of Charlie. "I'm still alive!"

Wenesday sighed. "We'll try it again tomorrow!" She called.

Charlie moaned. "Charlie, I have to go. But here, I'll bring you inside. Can you walk?"

"I think so." Charlie attempted to stand up but needed serious assistance. Barbra then put his arm over her shoulder and walked him throught the house. There, she sat him on the couch.

"Charlie, I have to leave. But don't worry, Carol's here." She said.

"Okay, just as long as you don't leave me with the Addams Family." Charlie responded.

"I'll be back tonight. I'll call Daddy and explain what happened when I get to the station." Barbra informed him and walked out of the house.

Carol walked into the kitchen and on the fridge, found a note. "Dear Carol, " the note read. "Take care of Charlie, Pugsley fell on top of him." She assumed the note was written by her father before he left for work. She pulled up the blind that allowed her to see into the living room. "Charlie, I have to leave. But Barbra's here, she'll take care of you." She laughed at the thought of Pugsley fallong on him. But she felt sorry he was hurt.

"Wait!" Charlie called after her. "Barbra isn't-" and she left. "Here." He was becoming anxious. He found Morticia beautiful but she was pregnant, and the rest of the family was nuts from what he heard and witnessed. Charlie was worried one of them would notice him but he couldn't get up. So he waited.

Harry sat with Clara in the office. "So, Clara? I heard you've been having stomach cramps lately."

"Yea, and I think I know why." Clara said and held her stomach.

"Why?" Harry asked.

"Well, these two kids came by my house yesterday. They were wearing black and they looked about my age. The boy was younger. And they said they could help me with my lemonade stand. They upped the price to fifty cents per glass and added something that looked like sugar. It didn't have a taste. But the after taste was real bad. So, I thanked them and asked them to leave."

"What does this have to do with your stomach cramps?" Harry asked.

"I think that stuff wasn't sugar." Clara admitted.n

"What do you think it was?" Harry asked.

"Poison." Clara said nonchalantly.

 **"Poison?"** Harry soon became concerned. "You think they poisoned you?" He was speechless.

"Yep."

"How's about we run a few tests and find out?" Harry rushed her up to Laverne. "Laverne, call Clara's parents and ask if we can give her a blood test." He exited.

"Alright, " Laverne began dialing the number. "Now, Clara, you just sit right here, the doctor'll be right back."

Charlie was a bundle of nerves but soon came to the conclusion at they weren't coming downstairs, when all of the sudden, Morticia came down. "Oh, hello, Charlie." She called to him and walked over to the couch. "How are you?"

"M-Morticia..." Charlie tried to remain calm. He took a deep breath. "Your son.. fell off of the roof."

"Dear Pugsley, so adventerous." Morticia smiled.

"He fell on me." Charlie tried to explain.

"I see. How are you feeling?" She asked him.

"Paralyzed." Charlie stated.

"Oh dear." Morticia became worried. "You can't feel anything at all?"

"I can feel, I just can't move." Charlie told her.

"Good, at least your in pain." Morticia was releived. "But too much pain is never good."

"Well, on a scale of one to ten, it's probably a twelve."

"I see. That may be bit too much. There is a fine line between pain and discomfort." Morticia said. "Is there anything I can do to make you comfortable?"

"Just sit there." Charlie told her.

"Charlie, I think I know what you need." She paused. "Gomez!" She called.

"Oh no." Charlie said quitely to himself.

Gomez walked downstairs. "Yes, carita?" He asked.

"Would you sit with Charlie for a minute, mon cher?" Morticia asked. "I'm going to get him some tea."

"Of course. What happened to him?" Gomez asked.

"Pugsley jumped off of the roof and fell on him." Morticia sighed.

"Oh." Gomez smiled and shook his head at Charlie. "Kids."

"Uh-huh." Charlie nodded, and figured he was crazy. "So, how long have you guys been together?" He asked.

"Nineteen years." He responded.

"Woah." He wondered exactly how old they were.

"We were married when we were eighteen. I met her at her first funeral. She was so beautiful, pale and mysterious. No one even **looked** at the corpse." Gomez reminiced.

Morticia opened the blinds that allowed one to see into the living room. "The tea's almost ready." She smiled, overhearing the conversation. She then decided to join in. "I couldn't stop staring at him, all through the eulogy. His eyes, " Gomez stared at her with a look of great passion. "His mistache, his laugh."

"She bewitched me. I proposed that very night." Gomez sighed and Morticia went back to the teapot that sounded as if it were screaming bloody murder.

"Is that normal?" Charlie asked.

"It's Morticia's screaming teapot." Gomez assured him. "I gave it to her for her last birthday."

"Tea's ready!" Morticia called as she walked into the living room. She handed the tea to Charlie and sat in the chair opposite the one her husband was currently sitting at.

Charlie took a sip and began to cough. "Is that supposed to happen?" Charlie asked between coughs.

Morticia shook her head. "No, perhaps I put in a tad too much cyanide."

"Isn't that poison?" Charlie asked. "And-." He then pulled a large arachnid out of his tea. "Oh my God."

"Is everything alright?" Morticia asked him.

"Uh-huh." Charlie's face contorted, mostly because he almost enjoyed the tea until he found out what was inside of it.

"Spider-tea. A variation of spider-leg tea only stonger. Does wonders for aching, well... everything." Morticia explained.

Charlie set the tea down on the cofee table. Morticia eyed him which -for some odd reason- made him feel very uneasy. "So, when's the baby due?"

"Any time. The doctor said it was coming early." Gomez said.

"Oh. So, how old are your kids?" Charlie asked.

"Twelve and ten." Morticia answered.

"Would you mind turning on the television?" Charlie asked.

"No, not at all. We'll turn on something nice and relaxing. But first, drink your tea." Morticia told him.

"But, I..." Charlie struggled for words.

"Is it painful to drink?" Gomez asked him.

"Uh... yea." Charlie lied. It wasn't painful, it was nauseating.

"Good." Morticia said. "That means it's working. Now, Charlie. I don't mean to be stern with you, but you have to drink. It's going to help you."

"Y-yes, ma'am." Charlie felt like a child.

"Alright." Morticia held the cup up to his lips and he bit the bullet, and drank up. After five minutes of waves upon waves of nausea he was forced to hold back, he finished the tea.

"The spider, stays in the cup, right?" Charlie asked.

"Of course not, that would be cruel." Gomez responded.

"Here." Morticia then took the still breathing arachnid and let him out of the cup. He ran off.

"Phew." A releived Charlie exhaled. "So about the relaxing tv show-"

"Of course, how's about..." Gomez was unsure of what to put on.

"Friday the Thirteenth. I saw a preveiw for it. It started two minutes ago." Morticia told him.

"Perfect." Gomez then turned on the television.

"Charlie, that blanket is just dreadful. Here, I'll get you a nice, itchy one." Morticia was about to get up but Gomez beat her to the punch.

"Ah, ah. Tish, you have been doing entirely too much today. I'll get it." Gomez kissed her hand.

"Darling, really, I can get it." Morticia protested.

 **"Tish-"** Gomez dissaproved of her getting up when she didn't need to, being woth child.

 **"Gomez-"**

 **"Cara mia-"**

 **"Mon cher-"**

 **"Eres divena..."**

 **"Mon sauvage..."** At this point, they had completely forgotten what they were supposed to do and leaned right on the couch and began kissing eachother rather passionatley. Charlie tried to stay focused on the movie but couldn't help but notice the pain that was overcoming him, due to the fact that a lost Gomez and Morticia were not only leaning on the couch, but on Charlie's legs. He noticed and began to wine and moan breifly. This was probably, he guessed, the wrong day to have decided to drop by.

Harry had finished running the tests on Clara and it showed that she was healty. He was puzzled and told Clara the news.

"That's weird." Clara said.

"What's weird, dear?" Harry asked.

"I felt better right before you took the test."

"Yea, isn't that... weird." He paused. "Okay, dear. You can go back out now and tell mom and dad the good news."

"Okay, Dr. Weston." Clara skipped out of the office. Harry decided it best to call home and had Laverne dial the number. "Hello?"

"Hello, Harry." Morticia answered.

"Hi, Morticia." Harry still felt very awkward, adressing her as if she were a regular visitor instead of a strange guest in his home. "How is everything?"

Morticia assumed he was talking about Charlie. "Oh, Pugsley's doing just fine."

"Pugsley?" Harry was confused.

"Yes, isn't that why you called? Our dear Pugsley jumped off of the roof and landed on poor Charlie." Morticia explained.

"Oh my God, is he okay?" Harry asked.

"Oh, yes. Pugsley's fine. Charlie broke his fall. Thank you for calling, Harry. Goodbye." Before she hung up, Harry heard a scream in the background, that seemed as though it belonged to Charlie.

"But what about Charlie?" He realized she hung up. "Hello? Morticia!"

"Harry, what's the matter?" Maxine asked as she walked up to him.

"Pugsley... he jumped off my roof." Harry sighed.

"Oh my God, is he okay?" Maxine asked.

"Right onto Charlie." Harry continued.

"Oh my God, is **he** okay?"

"I don't know." Harry admitted.

"I told you, doctor. They could kill ya just by lookin' at ya." Laverne jumped into the conversation.

"Charlie is **not** dead!" Maxine told her.

"How do you know? Maybe that's why they didn't say anything. Maybe they thought you wouldn't notice." She said to Harry.

"Wouldn't notice but that's-" Harry was cut off by a patient passing out on the floor. And he knew it would be a long time before he could call back.


	6. Clowns and Clinics

Charlie was ready to beg on his knees for the Addams' to go back home. He had been forced to drink spider-tea, kissed on and had to watch _'Friday the 13th'_ and he could not take much more of any of it. He was covered by a small, itchy wool blanket. "Guys, do you mind if I get some rest?" He asked.

"Only after you've had dinner." Charlie felt that Morticia was acting almost like a mother... a really **insane** mother. "Are you feeling any better?"

"Yes. My pain's probably an eleven now." Charlie told her.

"Good. I'm going to make you some of my _Deadly Henbane Soup_." Morticia told him. "And then you can rest." She walked into the kitchen.

"What's that?" Charlie asked Gomez.

"Deadly Nightshade mixed with henbane with a pinch of arsenic." Gomez answered.

Charlie was petrified. "Are you guys trying to kill me?"

"No, we wouldn't do that to you now." Gomez told him. "Cigar?" He took out one for himself and lit it.

"No thanks." Charlie declined. He paused an begun to grow even more worried. **"Now?"** He asked, afraid.

"No, **not** now." Gomez told him.

Minutes later, the soup was ready. Morticia walked out and gave Charlie the first sip. It was extemely hot but he swallowed it. "Is it supposed to be that hot?"

"Well of course, it's **soup**." Morticia breifly looked at him like he was crazy.

 _'Oh sure, '_ Charlie thought. _' **This** they prepare normally!' _

He finished his soup a while later. "There, can I rest now, right?" He asked.

"Yes." Morticia told him. "How are you feeling?"

"Afraid." Charlie answered.

"How's your pain?" Gomez asked.

"It's still there, but I'm sure it'll go away on it's own." Charlie tried to say.

"Odd. The tea should have worked. Perhaps you shouldn't rest **just** yet." Morticia said.

Charlie moaned.

"Let's see..." Gomez began to think. "Tish, we could call Máma!"

"Yes, she always does know what to do." Morticia agreed. She then went into the kitchen and called her mother.

"Hello?" Máma answered.

"Hello, máma."

"Oh, Morticia. Did you and Gomez catch your hurricane yet?" She asked.

"No, not yet." Morticia responded.

"Look, I lost the children. The little devils hid from me and now they're gone. I've been trying to get a hold of the hotel you were supposed to stay at but no one answered."

 **"Máma!"** Morticia stopped her. She was a bit unsure of how she could be so casual about thinking she lost the children. Morticia often worried they would end up meeting scouts, and singing "Cumbya". She cringed at the thought. "You didn't loose the children. They snuck into our suitcases and now we're staying witht a nice family because our car broke down infront of their house."

"Oh." Máma sighed. "So, why did you call?"

"Pugsley jumped off of the roof and fell on the neighbor." Morticia explained.

"Well, here's what you've got to do." Máma began. She fingered through a large, dusty, old book. "You have to find out his greatest fear. Then, you have to scare him into perfect health."

"Máma, I don't know-"

"Have I ever been wrong?" Máma cut her off.

"Really, Máma-"

"Don't ruin the momenmt, Morticia." Máma told her. "Try it."

"Alright." Morticia then hung up and walked into the living room. _"Well, "_ she thought to herself. _"If this doesn't work, we could put him on the rack."_

"Charlie?" She sat on the chair. "What's your greatest fear?"

Back at the office, Harry ate lunch with Laverne while Maxine went out with a friend. "Dr. Weston?"

"Yes, Laverne?" Harry asked.

"I have a story for you."

"Oh, no." Harry sighed. "Laverne-"

"Just listen!" Laverne said. "Back in Hickory, there was this man. And a family came to his door one night askin' for shelter because someone broke their leg infront a' his house. And it was snowin'. So the kindly man lets them in. But they end up stayin' a lot longer than they was supposed to. They come up with all these excuses as to why they have to stay and start takin' advantage of him. Now this family was very creepy. Things start a' happenin' to his family members. And so he kicks 'em out because they stayed long after the leg was heeled. And just as they was walkin' out a' his house, they shot him."

"Laverne, what does this have to do with me?" Harry asked.

"Not everythin' is about you, doctor!" She paused. "But as a matter of fact, this story was. Can you relate to this man?"

"No." Harry told her.

"Doctor, they are gonna be the death 'a ya!" Laverne explained. "They are stayin' far longer than they need to be and Charlie got hurt."

"Laverne, they are only staying longer because it was Barbra's fault that they got stranded in front of the house. And further more, Charlie is not a family member!" Harry said.

"He comes into your house uninvited, raids your fridge, eats with ya, practically lives there and the man is gettin' burried with ya!" Laverne tried to tell him. "If that aint concidered family, I don't know what is."

"Laverne, I appreciate your concern but they are not going to kill me."

"Doctor Weston, I do not think you can handle these people." Laverne said bluntly.

"Oh, and you can?" An offended Harry asked.

"For your information, Doctor, I once wrestled an aligator. And I handled rattle snakes when I was ten. I can handle the oddballs from Elm Street."

"Fine, Laverne! If you think you can live with them, we'll stay at your house and you can stay at ours. And we'll see how long you can last."

"Now that **is** ridiculous!" Laverne said. Then she paused. "I'll be over after work."

Meanwhile, Charlie was ready to curl up into a ball and die. When he had told the Addams' that he was deathly afraid of clowns, they made him watch _"IT"_ and called over a man named Jim who dressed up as "Bo-bo the Clown" and did his best to scare him.

Gomez sighed. Then, Morticia looked up. "Gomez, the rack!"

"Of course, it's in the basement! I'll get it." He then exited.

Charlie tried to calm hinself down. "Do you mean boobs?"

Morticia was taken aback by his lack of manners but did not show it on her face. "No, Charlie. The rack is, sort of a large board that pulls on your limbs and stretches you out a bit." Morticia explained. "It will do **wonders** for your injuries."

Gomez walked into the living room, carrying the rack with Pugsley and Wednesday. "Thank you, children." He said as they put the rack down next to the couch. Before his children exited, he handed Pugsley a lit cigar.

"He smokes?" Charlie asked. He knew he would not make wonderful father-material but even **he** thought that was bad parenting.

"Yes." Morticia said.

Gomez then lifted the injured man onto the rack and tied him to it. Morticia sat in the chair and sipped her tea as Gomez pulled the lever. You could hear the sounds of bones expanding and poor Charlie wincing in pain, most of which was coming from his head because he was so afraid.

"Don't worry, Charlie." Morticia eyed Gomez. "My husband's done this before."

Two hours later, after they had put him on a giant wheel and spun him around, they laid him on the couch and went upstairs to give him some much needed rest. Charlie, now unable to walk, crawled to the kitchen, forgetting there was a phone in the living room and dialed the clinic's number.

"Hello?" Laverne answered.

"Laverne?" Charlie sounded afraid.

"Charlie? Lordie! I thought you were dead." Laverne responded,

"Yea, Laverne, listen." Charlue said abrubtly. "I need to talk to Harry. I don't have much time."

 **"Oh my** **God."** Laverne did out her hand over the phone. "Dr. Weston! Emergancy!"

Harry ran up to Laverne's desk. "What, what, what is it?" Harry asked, alarmed.

 **"They are a' tryin' ta kill Charlie."** Laverne handed him the phone.

 **"What?"** Harry took the phone. "Hello, Charlie?"

"Harry, ya gotta help me." Charlie was practically begging. "They sat on me, spun me upside down, stretched me out and made me watch clown movies! I can't walk and I don't wanna die!"

"Okay, okay, calm down!" Harry told him. "Are you sure that wasn't just another awful dream you had?"

"Yes! They said they wanted to get rid of my injuries. I-"

Laverne, over-hearing the conversation, snatched the phone away. "Hello, Charlie?"

"Laverne?" He asked, confused.

"Yea. Do you know how to army crawl?"

"I think so."

"Good. Now, are ya in the kitchen?"

"Yes."

"Alright. Now, you just crawl on out of there." Laverne said, like it was the most simple thing in the world.

"You want me to **crawl** to my house? **Next door**?" Charlie asked.

"Yea. You got a better idea?"

"Alright." Charlie gulped. "Bye, Laverne."

"Bye, bye, now." Laverene hung up and Charlie began to crawl.

Harry looked at Laverne, in disbelief.

"I told ya." Laverne shook her head and resumed her work.


End file.
